MEXICAN GRANDMOTHER
LAWYERS SHOULD NEVER ASK A MEXICAN GRANDMA ANY QUESTION
IF THEY AREN'T PREPARED FOR THE ANSWER.
DURING A TRIAL IN A SMALL TOWN IN TEXAS , A PROSECUTING ATTORNEY
CALLED HIS FIRST WITNESS, AN ELDERLY MEXICAN GRANDMOTHER, TO THE STAND.
HE APPROACHED HER AND ASKED, "MRS. SANCHEZ, DO YOU KNOW ME?"
SHE RESPONDED, "SI, I MEANA, YES I KNOW YOU MR. WILLIAMS. I KNOW YOU
SINCE YOU WERE A CHAVALITO AND FRANKLY YOU'VE BEEN A BIG
DISAPPOINTMENT TO ME. YOU LIE, YOU CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE, AND YOU
MANIPULATE PEOPLE AND TALK ABOUT THEM BEHIND THEIR BACKS. YOU THINK
YOU'RE A BIG SHOT WHEN YOU HAVEN'T THE BRAINS TO REALIZE YOU WILL
NEVER AMOUNT TO NOTHIN' BUT A TWO-BIT PAPER PUSHER. YES, I KNOW YOU."
THE LAWYER WAS STUNNED. NOT KNOWING WHAT ELSE TO DO, HE POINTED
ACROSS THE ROOM AND ASKED, "MRS. SANCHEZ, DO YOU KNOW THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY?"
SHE AGAIN REPLIED, "WHY, YES I DO. I'VE KNOWN MR. RODRIGUEZ SINCE HE WAS
A CHAVALITO, TOO. HE'S LAZY, GORDO, AND HE HAS A DRINKING PROBLEM.
HE CAN'T HAVE A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP WITH NOBODY AND HE HAS THE WORST
LAW PRACTICE IN THE STATE. HA! AND NOT TO MENTION, HE CHEATED ON
HIS WIFE WITH THREE DIFFERENT PUTAS. ONE OF THEM WAS YOUR WIFE. YOU REMEMBER?
YES, I KNOW MR. RODRIGUEZ; HIS MAMA IS NOT PROUD OF HIM." THE DEFENSE
ATTORNEY ALMOST DIED.
THE JUDGE ASKED BOTH COUNSELORS TO APPROACH THE BENCH AND IN A VERY
QUIET VOICE SAID, "IF EITHER OF YOU PENDEJOS ASK HER IF SHE KNOWS
ME, I'LL SEND YOU TO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR."